There are many people on this planet who has gone through or who is going through what you went through. They are seeking ways to cope with their pain. They feel that no one is there for them. They feel alone and they may feel suicidal. Because of the deep pain they are feeling internally they may act on those thoughts of suicide or they may drink, take drugs, use food or sex to numb their pain. No one deserves to be in such twisted pain. You can help those individuals. How? Share your story, share what you went through, and share how you felt and how you are feeling. Show others who are going through pain, show them your pain. Let them connect with you. Many individuals feel that they are alone with what they are going through. They are ashamed of talking about their pain. They may feel that no one will believe them. That is not true.
You know what you went through and how you were made to feel as if it was all in your head. You know firsthand how family members did not want to hear your, believe you and wanted you to shut up and suffer in silence. They may be ashamed and of course they are making it all about them and not about you. Use your voice to empower others. Use your voice, share your story to bring hope, peace in the midst of pain for those who need to hear your story. There are thousands of children who are being sexually abused by close family friends and even by family members. Those children are suffering in silence because they know that people will tell them that they are making things up. Can you now imagine the pain and shame those children are going to grow up with and take into their adulthood?
The very individuals who ought to be protecting them are the very ones who are telling them that they are making things up, they are imagining things. They were told that, oh, it’s just a hug or, that is how friendly so&so is. He does it to everyone. You are told that you are making a big deal out of it or you are making things up. That is how the fathers, stepfathers, brothers, step-brothers, uncles, grandfather, elder(s) is protected and the child is made out to be the liar all because adults do not want to stand up to the highly esteemed so&so. When the child or even an adult is made to feel that it is all in their mind the damage to their psyche will be so great.
I am so thankful that I had individuals who believed me and who did not make me think that I was making things up. As a result, I was able to get the clean help that I needed. I had friends who had gone through the same things and they could see that I was suffering. They started to share their story with me and how they had suffered through the feelings of shame and self-disgust. They saw me going down the same path of self-hatred that they had traveled and they held my hand all the way, until I felt safe enough with them to share what I had gone through. At a very young age, those young ladies gave me a rock to lean on. They never left my side. I owe my life to those women. They pushed me to go to Therapy. I was also very fortunate to have Therapists who were fully self-actualized and who understood what I went through. They helped me to start valuing myself, start loving myself and to start seeing myself as a person who is deserving of clean love and a healthy life. They gave voice to what I was afraid of talking about. They gave me a voice, my voice. They helped me to stop blaming myself for what adults did to me. They helped me to start my healing.
Can you now imagine children and adults who are being torn down by the very people who should be helping them with their healing? They don’t have their own voice. Can you imagine the deep, devastating pain that those individuals are suffering inside? Enough hiding and trying to make others into liars all because adults do not want to deal with those disgusting and awful things. We need to bring healing to individuals who are in pain. If someone does not want to believe you, then that is not your issue. You do not need to convince anyone of what you went through. Those who went through what you went through can and will relate to you, they will believe you, the same way you will relate to and believe those who are seeking help. I believe you because I know and understand what you are going through.
When you share your story, you are not only helping those who need to hear your story, you are also helping yourself. The more you talk about your pain, the more you bring healing to yourself. That is why it is said that the more you help others, the more you help yourself. You know firsthand how devastating it is to be put on trial for the abuse you suffered. You know how it feels when children are led to believe that they are imagining things. There is nothing more devastating than for someone to have gone through abuse of any kind, including rape, to have others try to twist up your mind and make you think that nothing happened you are only imagining things. No one should ever have to face that. And you should never be around anyone who refuses to acknowledge what you went through. You do not need to be abused anymore, so remove yourself permanently from anyone who wants to make you suffer more in silence and self-doubt.
Do not keep quiet about your abuse. You know firsthand how others who were abused feel and were made to feel. You know how it feels to not know when the next fist to your face by your father or your partner is going to come. You grew up having a front seat view to domestic violence and sexual abuse in your house and the homes of your friends. Sadly, many people are ashamed of talking about what they went through and their family may deny what happened and refuse to acknowledge what they went through. Chances are, those family members also went through the same abuse and they may feel that you need to shut up about it. It’s just what you go through as a woman. HELL TO THE NO!! No woman, man or child should ever have to experience the traumas of sexual abuse, rape or any other kind of sexual violence.
You are a survivor. You have weathered the storm of your childhood abuse. You have survived domestic violence. It is not safe for your psyche to be around anyone who is going to make you second-guess yourself where the abuse you suffered is concerned. No one should ever have to face the disgusting pain or occurrence of any kind of sexual violence. The truth is sexual abuse is rape, because a child’s innocence is being raped. Their childhood is taken away from them and they are forced to be an adult way too soon.
Now your story does not have to be about sexual abuse. It could be about anything painful or traumatic that you went through. If you have survived and you are now thriving or doing better in your life, you can now turn around and share your story of hope and survival with others who are looking for hope. People who are in pain are not necessarily looking for monetary help. They are looking for someone who feels their pain, understands what they are going through and acknowledge them. People are looking for strength to cope with life. They are looking for a way to have a better life, one that is not filled with pain.
Calling what you went through “your story” is not referring to a fictional story. Your story refers to your life experiences. It refers to the things you have gone through, the lessons you learned and how you have built up your inner strength. Your story is not one to be debated. You have lived your story so you know your story better than anyone else. It is very painful when others want to question or debate your story as if it is a joke or something to be questioned. You have nothing to prove to others and your sexual trauma or any other trauma that you experienced is not something to be debated or to prove to anyone. You like everyone else deserves healing and that is where your sharing your story comes in. You can use your story to facilitate healing in someone else. Now you do not necessarily have to bring your story to the whole world. You can help one person to heal and find inner strength and they in turn will turn around and help someone else. That now starts a domino chain factor of healing.
Your life, your story is your calling to serve a higher purpose. That higher purpose is to bring healing, hope, strength and more to others. Remove yourself from anyone who wants to fight with you thus thwarting your higher calling and higher purpose. Your calling is to serve others and help them to heal. You are not for everyone and not everyone will be for you. However, you are for those who need to hear your story. People need hope; they want to have a better life than the one they are living.